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The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101

THE LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE RATES OF BIRTH AND DEATH RECORDED IN NEW ZEALAND FROM 1901 TO 2021, AND FORECASTS TRENDS TIP UNTIL 2101. IT CAN BE SEEN THAT BETWEEN 1901 AND 1964 THE BIRTH RATE DRASTICALLY ROSE FROM 20000 TO ALMOST 70000. FROM 1964 TO 2001 IT FLUCTUATED FROM 50000 TO 70000. AFTER, THE AMOUNT OF BIRTHS HAS CONTINUED TO DECREASE, REACHING NOWDAYS THE PEAK OF 50000. ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH THE BIRTH RATE WILL CONTINUE TO SLOWLY DROP TO 40000 OVER THE NEXT EIGHTY YEARS. IN CONTRAST, THE DEATH RATE HAS CONSTANTLY INCREASED (FROM LESS THAN 10000 IN 1901 TO 35000 in 2021) AND IT IS PREDICTED TO GO UP TO 60000 in 2061, WITH MERELY SLIGHT OSCILLATIONS UNTIL THE END OF THE CENTURY. OVERALL, SINCE 1901 TO PRESENT DAY, THE BIRTH RATE HAS REMAINED CONSISTENTLY HIGHER THAN THE DEATH RATE. ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH, IT EXPECTED TO CHANGE IN 2041, WHEN THE MORTALITY RATE WILL OVERTAKE THE BIRTH RATE.
THE LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE
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RATES
OF
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BIRTH
AND DEATH RECORDED IN NEW ZEALAND FROM 1901 TO 2021, AND FORECASTS TRENDS TIP UNTIL 2101.

IT CAN BE
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SEEN
THAT BETWEEN 1901 AND 1964 THE
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BIRTH
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RATE
DRASTICALLY
ROSE FROM 20000 TO ALMOST 70000. FROM 1964 TO 2001 IT FLUCTUATED FROM 50000 TO 70000. AFTER, THE AMOUNT OF
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BIRTHS
HAS CONTINUED TO DECREASE, REACHING
Possible spelling mistake found.
NOWDAYS
THE PEAK OF 50000. ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH THE
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BIRTH
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RATE
WILL CONTINUE TO
SLOWLY
DROP TO 40000 OVER THE
NEXT
EIGHTY YEARS.

IN CONTRAST
, THE DEATH
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RATE
HAS
CONSTANTLY
INCREASED (FROM LESS THAN 10000 IN 1901 TO 35000 in 2021) AND IT
IS PREDICTED
TO GO UP TO 60000 in 2061, WITH
MERELY
SLIGHT OSCILLATIONS UNTIL THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
OF THE CENTURY.

OVERALL
, SINCE 1901 TO PRESENT DAY, THE
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BIRTH
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RATE
HAS REMAINED
CONSISTENTLY
HIGHER THAN THE DEATH
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RATE
. ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH, IT
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EXPECTED
TO
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CHANGE
IN 2041, WHEN THE MORTALITY
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RATE
WILL OVERTAKE THE
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BIRTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RATE
.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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