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The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia. Write a report for a university teacher describing the information shown.

The chart depicts number of employees working in Freedonia in the year 1975. There are six employement sectors namely Manufacturing, Communication, Finance, Wholesale and retail, Public sector non defence, and defence public sector. Although there were almost zero number of women employees in the defence public sector yet in the non defence sector the female workers were highest in number(700). Additionally, wholesale sector also recorded similar women employees around 500. Communication and Manufacturing sector had almost same female employees around 300. The number of male workers was lowest in the defence sector slightly more than 200. However, the number was little more in communications around 350 followed by Finance being higher than 400. Same data was observed in Manufactring and Wholesale sectors(650). More than 800 number of men worked in non defence public sector being the highest of all. Overall, number of men workers was higher as compared to females in all the sectors. The lowest female workers was in the defence sector whereas, the highest women employees were seen in non defence sector. Similar trend was observed in the male workers as well.
The chart depicts
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number
of
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employees
working in
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Freedonia
in the year 1975. There are six
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employement
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sectors
namely
Manufacturing, Communication, Finance, Wholesale and retail,
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Public
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sector
non
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defence
, and
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defence
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public
sector.

Although there were almost zero
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number
of women
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employees
in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘defence’ is British English.
defence
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public
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sector
yet
in the non
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defence
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sector
the
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female
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workers
were highest in
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number(700)
.
Additionally
, wholesale
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sector
also
recorded similar women
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employees
around 500. Communication and Manufacturing
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sector
had almost same
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female
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employees
around 300.

The
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number
of male
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workers
was lowest in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘defence’ is British English.
defence
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sector
slightly
more than 200.
However
, the
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number
was
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little
more in communications around 350 followed by Finance being higher than 400. Same data
was observed
in
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Manufactring
and Wholesale
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sectors(650)
. More than 800
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number
of
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men
worked in non
Possible spelling mistake. ‘defence’ is British English.
defence
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public
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sector
being the highest of all.

Overall
,
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number
of
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men
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workers
was higher
Comparison requires “than”, not ‘then’ nor ‘as’.
as
compared to
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females
in all the
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sectors
. The lowest
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female
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workers
was in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘defence’ is British English.
defence
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sector
whereas, the highest women
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employees
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in non
Possible spelling mistake. ‘defence’ is British English.
defence
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sector
. Similar trend
was observed
in the male
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workers
as well
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia. Write a report for a university teacher describing the information shown.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia. Write a report for a university teacher describing the information shown.