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The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows variations of birth and death in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. According to the information, there were much higher levels of birth than death over the decades untill peresent time in the New Zealand. But in the forecasts, this trend is changing in the coming years. During the years 1901 and 1941, the birth rate has increased erratically and the death rate has been slowly increasing. Between 1941 to 1961, the trend of birth has skyrocketed so much so that in the year 1961 we see the peak of birth about 65, 000, while the trend of death has been an upward tendency to 20, 000. Between 1961 to 2001, we are witnessing declining fluctuations of birth rate and at the meantime(among) in 1981, it has collapsed to 50, 000. But the rate of death has doubled in similar years. From 2001 to peresent time, birth trend has reduced and death trend has rapidly grown, as far as expected, their confluence will happen in 2041. The predictions indicate that, from 2041 to 2101, the death rate will precede birth rate.
The graph
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shows
variations of
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birth
and death in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. According to the information, there were much higher levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
than death over the decades
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untill
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peresent
time in the New Zealand.
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But
in the forecasts, this
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trend
is changing in the coming years.

During the years 1901 and 1941, the
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birth
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rate
has increased
erratically
and the death
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rate
has been
slowly
increasing.

After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
Between 1941 to 1961
, the
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trend
of
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birth
has skyrocketed
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so
much
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so
that in the year 1961 we
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see
the peak of
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birth
about 65, 000, while the
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trend
of death has been an upward tendency to 20, 000.

After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
Between 1961 to 2001
, we are witnessing declining fluctuations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
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rate
and at the meantime(among) in 1981, it has collapsed to 50, 000.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
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rate
of death has doubled in similar years.

From 2001 to
Possible spelling mistake found.
peresent
time,
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birth
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trend
has
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reduced
and death
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trend
has
rapidly
grown, as far as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, their confluence will happen in 2041.

The predictions indicate that, from 2041 to 2101, the death
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rate
will precede
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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