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The graph gives comparison about expenditure of Asia, Europe and United States on five categories of entertainment in 1995 and 2000.

The graph gives comparison about expenditure of Asia, Europe and United States on five categories of entertainment in 1995 and 2000. j8m1L
The graph gives comparison about expenditure of Asia, Europe and United States on five categories of entertainment in 1995 and 2000. Overall, American spending was significantly higher than two other continents in both researched years. It is clear that most people chose to spend money on pulishing while this number of cinema was the lowest. In 1995, the total fun money of USA was the highest amongst three figures, at $184 billion. US people's money consumption on pulishing took the largest part, at about $75 billion. Meanwhile, these proportions of Europe and Asia were 97 and 67 billion dollars respectively. While approximately $40 billion was spent on reading forms of entertainment by European, the number for Asian was slightly lower, at about $30 billion. In the year 2000, the United States had a dramatic escalation in fun money, at $257 billion. While the amounts of money spent on forms of entertainment by Europe and Asia were considerably lower, at 131 and 110 billion of dollars respectively. Additionally, while the spendings on publishing of three places were all-time high, the expenditures on cinema remained lowest over a five-year period, all were at under $10 billion. Likewise, only $15 billion spent on video by Europe people, compared to around $10 billion in Asian.
The graph gives comparison about expenditure of Asia, Europe and United States on five categories of entertainment in 1995 and 2000.

Overall
, American spending was
significantly
higher than two other continents in both researched years. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
pulishing
while this number of cinema was the lowest.

In 1995, the total fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
was the highest amongst three figures, at $184
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
consumption on
Possible spelling mistake found.
pulishing
took the largest part, at about $75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. Meanwhile, these proportions of Europe and Asia were 97 and 67
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
dollars
respectively
. While approximately $40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
was spent
on reading forms of entertainment by European, the number for Asian was
slightly
lower, at about $30 billion.

In the year 2000, the United States had a dramatic escalation in fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, at $257
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. While the amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on forms of entertainment by Europe and Asia were
considerably
lower, at 131 and 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
of dollars
respectively
.
Additionally
, while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings on
publishing of three places were all-time high, the expenditures on cinema remained
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
over a five-year period, all were at under $10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
$15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
spent on video by Europe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, compared to around $10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in Asian.
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IELTS academic The graph gives comparison about expenditure of Asia, Europe and United States on five categories of entertainment in 1995 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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