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The graph displayed average sales of the bakery in three braches ( London Covent Garden, London Ofoxd Circus and London St John’s Wood ) Overall, it can be seen that London Covent Garden has the highest index of the five criteria ( Number of transactions, Transaction value, Number of eat-in transactions and Number of take-away transactions), the next is London Ofoxd Circus and finally is London St John’s Wood.

The graph displayed average sales of the bakery in three braches ( London Covent Garden, London Ofoxd Circus and London St John’s Wood ) Overall, it can be seen that London Covent Garden has the highest index of the five criteria ( Number of transactions, Transaction value, Number of eat-in transactions and Number of take-away transactions), the next is London Ofoxd Circus and finally is London St John’s Wood. MMgMp
The graph displayed average sales of the bakery in three braches ( London Covent Garden, London Ofoxd Circus and London St John’s Wood ) Overall, it can be seen that London Covent Garden has the highest index of the five criteria ( Number of transactions, Transaction value, Number of eat-in transactions and Number of take-away transactions), the next is London Ofoxd Circus and finally is London St John’s Wood. About numbers of customer, London Covent Garden with total number of transactions was 642 people which includes 304 people ate in bakery and 338 people take it away. It was high much higher than the remaining two bakery. Also with the price highest brands is 7. 58 euro. Gerenally London Ofoxd Circus outperforms London St John’s Wood but the price was cheaper than it ( 4. 51 and 5. 10 euro ) About most popular items, London Covent Garden had croissant, London Ofoxd Circus had medium latte and London St John’s Wood had strawberry tart
The graph displayed average sales of the bakery in three
Possible spelling mistake found.
braches
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(
London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Covent
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Garden
, London
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Ofoxd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Circus
and London St John’s Wood
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)


Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Covent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Garden
has the highest index of the five criteria
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transaction
value,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Number
of eat-in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Number
of take-away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions)
, the
next
is London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ofoxd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Circus
and
finally
is London St John’s Wood.

About
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of customer, London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Covent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Garden
with total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
was 642
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which includes 304
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ate in bakery and 338
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take it away. It was high much higher than the remaining two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'bakery' seems to be countable, so consider using: "bakeries".
bakery
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
with the price
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
brands is 7. 58
Possible agreement error. The noun 'euro' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
euro
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gerenally
London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ofoxd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Circus
outperforms London St John’s Wood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the price was cheaper than it
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
4. 51 and 5. 10 euro
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)


About most popular items, London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Covent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Garden
had croissant, London
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ofoxd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Circus
had medium latte and London St John’s Wood had strawberry tart
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IELTS academic The graph displayed average sales of the bakery in three braches ( London Covent Garden, London Ofoxd Circus and London St John’s Wood ) Overall, it can be seen that London Covent Garden has the highest index of the five criteria ( Number of transactions, Transaction value, Number of eat-in transactions and Number of take-away transactions), the next is London Ofoxd Circus and finally is London St John’s Wood.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
163 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph displayed average sales of the bakery in three braches ( London Covent Garden, London Ofoxd Circus and London St John’s Wood ) Overall, it can be seen that London Covent Garden has the highest index of the five criteria ( Number of transactions, Transaction value, Number of eat-in transactions and Number of take-away transactions), the next is London Ofoxd Circus and finally is London St John’s Wood.