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School Change during 60 years

School Change during 60 years doyr2
In this diagrams we can analyze the changes that West Park Secondary school has made for 60 years since it was build in 1950, we can see how it has adapted and grown in this period of time. The biggest change that I found was between 1950 and 1980, this is the period were there was more noticable change on the structure of the school, we can see that now they have added a science block and a car park where there were houses, also the school designated a main building and changed the farmland to a sports field. The only thing that didn't really changed on this period of time was the playground.
In
Did you mean "these"?
this
diagrams we can analyze the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that West Park Secondary school has made for 60 years since it was build in 1950, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it has adapted and grown in this period of time. The biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that I found was between 1950 and 1980, this is the period were there was more
Possible spelling mistake found.
noticable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
on the structure of the school, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
a science block and a car park where there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
,
also
the school designated a main building and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the farmland to a sports field. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that didn't
really
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "change"
changed
on this period of time was the playground.

IELTS academic School Change during 60 years

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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