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The bar chart gives us the information about the life expectancy in Japan, United States, Korea and Indonesia and the table shows us the change in the life expectancy between 1953 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart gives us the information about the life expectancy in Japan, United States, Korea and Indonesia and the table shows us the change in the life expectancy between 1953 and 2008. DlONA
The given bar graph compares the life expectancy in four different countries, and table illustrate the change in life expectancy in period of 55 years. Overall, it is clear that the majority of life expectancy is seen in japan, whereas the increment in life expectancy is maximum in Indonesia. In bar chart, in japan an individual can live about 80 years which is highest expected age as compare to other countries. However, life expectancy in USA and Korea is between the age 75 to 80. In Indonesia, average life expectancy is 70 years that is lowest. In the table, the maximum increment seen in Indonesia (15. 7 years ), followed by Korea 12. 5 year rise in life and 2008. However, there was only 0. 5 difference between japan and United states inclined 3. 5 and 3 years respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, and table illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy in period of 55 years.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in japan, whereas the increment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is maximum in Indonesia.

In bar chart, in japan an individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
about 80 years which is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
age as compare to other countries.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Korea is between the age 75 to 80. In Indonesia, average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is 70 years
that is
lowest.

In the table, the maximum increment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Indonesia (15. 7 years
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
, followed by Korea 12. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Possible agreement error. The noun 'rise' seems to be countable, so consider using: "rises".
rise
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and 2008.
However
, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 5 difference between japan and
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
inclined 3. 5 and 3 years
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives us the information about the life expectancy in Japan, United States, Korea and Indonesia and the table shows us the change in the life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The bar chart gives us the information about the life expectancy in Japan, United States, Korea and Indonesia and the table shows us the change in the life expectancy between 1953 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.