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The graph compares employment rates in three sections the UK

The graph compares employment rates in three sections the UK p5553
The graph highlights data about the proportion of people who were employed in three economic sectors in the UK, over a decade between 2000 and 2010. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were significant upward trends in the figures for public and self-employment sectors, while private area underwent a dramatic decline over the period in question. Another interesting point is that, in 2000, private sector had the highest employment rate among all, but the figure for public sector was higher than those for the others in 2010. Looking at details, as regards public sector, the percentage started at nearly 40% in 2000. Having remained stable in the first three years, it then went up sharply to just under 50% in 2005. Following that, there was a remarkable decrease by around 5%, but the proportion soon recovered in the next year. Finally, the figure went through a consistent rise to approximately 52%, reaching its all-time high. The same overall trend was applied for self-employment area. Having fluctuated around 20%, the proportion then rocketed to about 28% in 2008. Subsequently, it kept leveling off at 30% until 2010. By contrast, the percentage of private sector went in opposite direction. It decreased considerably from around 48% to just over 40% in 2002. Despite stabilizing the next year, it then fell steadily over the second half of the period to hit its trough of 20% in 2010.
The graph highlights data about the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were employed
in three economic
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sectors
in the UK,
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over
a decade between 2000 and 2010.

Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that there were significant upward trends in the figures for public and self-employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, while private area underwent a dramatic decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period in question. Another interesting point is that, in 2000, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
had the highest employment rate among all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the figure for public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was higher than those for the others in 2010.

Looking at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, as regards public
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sector
, the percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
nearly
40% in 2000. Having remained stable in the
first
three years, it then went up
sharply
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50% in 2005. Following that, there was a remarkable decrease by around 5%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the proportion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
recovered in the
next
year.
Finally
, the figure went through a consistent rise to approximately 52%, reaching its all-time high. The same
overall
trend
was applied
for self-employment area. Having fluctuated around 20%, the proportion then rocketed to about 28% in 2008.
Subsequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
leveling off at 30% until 2010.

By contrast, the percentage of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
went in opposite direction. It decreased
considerably
from around 48% to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40% in 2002. Despite stabilizing the
next
year, it then fell
steadily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the second half of the period to hit its trough of 20% in 2010.

IELTS academic The graph compares employment rates in three sections the UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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