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The line graph shows that the consumption of spreads in margarine,low fat and reduce spreads and butter.

The line graph shows that the consumption of spreads in margarine, low fat and reduce spreads and butter. OMMR3
The intake of varied spreads, say, margarine, low fat and reduce spreads and butter for 26 years that is from 1981 to 2007 is what the trio line exhibits. It is immediate apparent that when it comes to 1981, butter was the clear winner by being consumed, 140 gram of the total spreads, followed by margarine, being the first runner up, at 90 gram. Low fat and reduce spreads, however was found to be at the least front of the chart with a mere of 10 gram, whereas a sharp rise was observed from 9 gram in 1981 to 81 gram in 2001, afterwards there was a slight fall from 2001 and 2007. With regards to margarine, the consumption of spreads had a gradual fall from 1981 to 1986, but afterwhich a slight increase from 1986 to 1996 then there was a stability seen for 2 years, leading to a continuously fall until 2007. On the other hand, in the utilisation of butter had a gradual incline from 1981 to 1986, after that a declined sharply was seen from 160 gram in 1986 to 50 gram in 2007. In general, what stands out from the graph is, butter bore the flag in the case of 1981, while it wal low fast and reduced spreads that dominated the former in terms of 2007.
The intake of varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
, say, margarine, low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
for 26 years
that is
from 1981 to 2007 is what the trio line exhibits. It is immediate apparent that when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to 1981,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
winner by
being consumed
, 140
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
, followed by margarine, being the
first
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
runner up
, at 90
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
. Low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
,
however
was found
to be at the least front of the chart with a mere of 10
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
, whereas a sharp rise
was observed
from 9
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
in 1981 to 81
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
in 2001, afterwards there was a slight fall
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2001 to 2007"?
from 2001 and 2007
.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
margarine, the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
had a gradual fall from 1981 to 1986,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
afterwhich
a slight increase from 1986 to 1996 then there was a stability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for 2 years, leading to a
You used an adverb ('continuously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('fall') instead of another adjective.
continuously fall
until 2007.
On the other hand
, in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
had a gradual incline from 1981 to 1986, after that a declined
sharply
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from 160
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
in 1986 to 50
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
in 2007.
In general
, what stands out from the graph is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
bore the flag in the case of 1981, while it
Possible spelling mistake found.
wal
low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
that dominated the former in terms of 2007.

IELTS academic The line graph shows that the consumption of spreads in margarine, low fat and reduce spreads and butter.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
222 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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