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The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. 59bn
The graph illustrates annually average of US customers expenditures on mobile and residental phone services in 2001 to 2010. Overall, at first the cell phone services' cost was low and the residental phone services' cost was more. But at the end of period the cell phone services incresed and the residental phone services decreased. Both of them had fluctuation. In 2001 the expenditure on cell phone was about 200$ and it rose to near 300$ in 2002. Between 2002 and 2003 it grew steadly to about 310$ but after this year it experienced a sharp rise to approximately 610$ in 2007, then graph shows a steadly growth to about 780% in 2010. Although the residental phone services expenditure was near 700$ in 2001 but it experienced a steadly downwards between 2001 and 2006. In 2006 it touch the about 550$ point on the graph, then it had a sharp decreas to about 470$ in 2007. Finally it droped to about 410$ in 2010.
The graph illustrates
annually
average of US customers expenditures on mobile and
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in 2001 to 2010.

Overall
, at
first
the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
services' cost was low and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
services' cost was more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
Possible spelling mistake found.
incresed
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
decreased. Both of them had fluctuation.

In 2001 the expenditure on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$200".
200$
and it rose to near
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$300".
300$
in 2002. Between 2002 and 2003 it grew
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
to about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$310".
310$
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after this year it experienced a sharp rise to approximately
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$610".
610$
in 2007, then graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
growth to about 780% in 2010.

Although the
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
expenditure was near
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$700".
700$
in 2001
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it experienced a
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
downwards between 2001 and 2006. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2006, it".
2006 it
Did you mean "touches"?
touch
the about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$550".
550$
point on the graph, then it had a sharp
Possible spelling mistake found.
decreas
to about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$470".
470$
in 2007.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
it
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dropped", the past tense form of the verb 'drop'?
droped
to about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$410".
410$
in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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