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THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF OBESE MEN AND WOMEN IN FOUR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, ACCORDING TO A REPORT IN 2013. SUMMARIZE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES, AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANT.

THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF OBESE MEN AND WOMEN IN FOUR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, ACCORDING TO A REPORT IN 2013. xD9Y1
The bar graph highlights the percentage of obese in male and female in four different countries as per the report in 2013. According to the report the percentage of obesity in four countries vary. Countries are United States of America, United Kingdom, Iceland and Malta. The rate of obesity in Male species are higher than that in women. the number in males are close to 70 and in females its just reaching 60. In UK also the ratio of obesity is higher in males than in women. it is significantly seen that United Kingdom is the least affected country. Around 70 per cent of Icelandic males were encountered with obesity and only 60% females suffered. Malta was reported with the bulk amount of obesity cases in males but minimum cases in females. touching a bit more than 50%. Overall, it was seen that Malta had the majority of cases in males but least in females. Whereas Iceland reported the greatest number of cases in females followed by UK and USA.
The bar graph highlights the percentage of obese in male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries as per the report in 2013. According to the report the percentage of obesity in four countries vary. Countries
are United
States of America, United Kingdom, Iceland and Malta.

The rate of obesity in Male species are higher than that in women.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
number in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
are close to 70 and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reaching 60.

In UK
also
the ratio of obesity is higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
than in women.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that United Kingdom is the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
country.

Around 70 per cent of Icelandic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were encountered
with obesity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
suffered.

Malta
was reported
with the bulk amount of obesity cases in
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males
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
minimum cases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
touching
a bit more than 50%.

Overall
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Malta had the majority of cases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
least in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. Whereas Iceland reported the greatest number of cases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
followed by UK and USA.

IELTS academic THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF OBESE MEN AND WOMEN IN FOUR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, ACCORDING TO A REPORT IN 2013.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
170 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF OBESE MEN AND WOMEN IN FOUR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, ACCORDING TO A REPORT IN 2013. SUMMARIZE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES, AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANT.