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the graph below shows the number of visitors to the three main attractions in the fictional town of Smallville since 2000.

the graph below shows the number of visitors to the three main attractions in the fictional town of Smallville since 2000. APm2l
The column chart illustrates the figure of consumer to the three main attractions in fictional town of Smallville from 2000 to 2020. It is evident that Smallville city attractions number of annual visitors in thousands are recorded from three locations. City Museum always had the highest number of visitors. In addition, the figure of visitors to the zoo and the Asumsement Park had opposite classes, decreasing sharply and rising rapidly, respectively, between 2000 and 2020. To begin with, City Museum increased by about 2 000 consumers in 2010 and did not change the number of visitors in 2015. In 2020, it had fell slightly, at 44 000 people. 43, 000 visitors were remarkabled attracting visitors to the zoo in 2000 before it experienced a sharp decline, which had only over a little bit 11 000 people. In contrast, in 2020, Amusement Park attracted nearly 45 000 visitors, after marking a period of rocketed during the period 2000 to 2020 (only 11 000 visitors in 2000).
The column chart illustrates the figure of consumer to the three main attractions in fictional town of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Smallville
from 2000 to 2020.

It is evident that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Smallville
city attractions number of annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in thousands
are recorded
from three locations. City Museum always had the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
In addition
, the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to the zoo and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asumsement
Park had opposite classes, decreasing
sharply
and rising
rapidly
,
respectively
, between 2000 and 2020.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, City Museum increased by about 2 000 consumers in 2010 and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in 2015. In 2020, it had
Use the past participle "fallen", "felled" after the modal (auxiliary) verb 'had'.
fell
slightly
, at 44 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

43, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
remarkabled
attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to the zoo in 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it experienced a sharp decline, which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
over a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
11 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In contrast
, in 2020, Amusement Park attracted
nearly
45 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, after marking a period of rocketed during the period 2000 to 2020 (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in 2000).
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of visitors to the three main attractions in the fictional town of Smallville since 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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