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here are some meals in usa which includes sodium , saturated fats and sugar .

here are some meals in usa which includes sodium, saturated fats and sugar. 7W9D6
Here we are given with the pie chart that shows the sodium, saturated fats and added sugar in the meals consumed by the people residing in USA. These are the most unhelthy substances in the diest which harms the health as well as decreases the immunity of a person. Talkig about sodium, in breakfast its about 14%, in lunch it is about 29% and 43% and 14% in dinner and snacks respectively. Then talking about the added sugar in the meal of USA residents, in breakfast it is about 16% and 19%, 23%, and 42% in lunch, dinner and snacks respectively. Now if we look at the saturated fat consumed in meals of people in USA, 16% in breakfast, 26% in lunch, 37% in dinner and 21% in snacks. these substances decreases the immunity of a person as well if consumed in a regular bases in high amount can cause in thyroid and manny deadly deases. All in all it, it can be concluded that the inclusion of sodium and saturated fat in dinner was highest and added sugar was highest in snacks. The common of all the three was a breakfast which was all same in all the three sodium, added sugar and saturated fat about 14% in all the three.
Here we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
with the pie chart that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the sodium,
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
and
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in the meals consumed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. These are the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
unhelthy
substances in the
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diest
which harms the health
as well
as decreases the immunity of a person.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Talkig
about sodium, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
about 14%, in lunch it is about 29% and 43% and 14% in
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dinner
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
respectively
. Then talking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in the meal of USA residents, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
it is about 16% and 19%, 23%, and 42% in lunch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
respectively
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if we look at the
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
consumed in meals of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, 16% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
, 26% in lunch, 37% in
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dinner
and 21% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
substances
You should probably use "decrease".
decreases
the immunity of a person
as well
if consumed in a regular bases in high amount can cause in thyroid and
Possible spelling mistake found.
manny
deadly
Possible spelling mistake found.
deases
.

All in all it, it can
be concluded
that the inclusion of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
was highest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
was highest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
. The common of all the three was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
which was all same in all the three sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
about 14% in all the three.
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IELTS academic here are some meals in usa which includes sodium, saturated fats and sugar.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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