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Illustrated in the given line graph is the monthly figure about profits that 4 restaurants located in a city earned in 2010 (showed in million dollars).

Illustrated in the given line graph is the monthly figure about profits that 4 restaurants located in a city earned in 2010 (showed in million dollars). BYPVp
Illustrated in the given line graph is the monthly figure about profits that 4 restaurants located in a city earned in 2010 (showed in million dollars). It can be clearly observed that the gains of the Evening Paradise and Grand Fiesta remained moderately throughout the survey year whereas that of the Delicacy and Spicy Fortune were dramatically changed. Beginning with the Grand Fiesta, this restaurant recorded middle-range profit in the former period until the minor changes between July and August. To be more specific, the data increased to 100 million, and gradually went up in the latter period to exactly 140 million. However, that of the Delicacy was fluctuated from just over than a third and reached at over than 100 million in December. Earnings for the Spicy Fortune occupied a sharpe decrease to about 30 million after a rapid increase in March to reach 170 million and the steadiness in the middle months. For the Evening Paradise, profits for this last food stall remained an upward trend in the 7- month period, starting from about 50 million. Nonetheless, there was a drop to just 60 million in September eventhough it rocketedly climbed to the peak of more than 180 million dollars.
Illustrated in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph is the monthly figure about profits that 4 restaurants located in a city earned in 2010 (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
dollars).

It can be
clearly
observed that the gains of the Evening Paradise and Grand Fiesta remained
moderately
throughout the survey year whereas that of the Delicacy and Spicy Fortune were
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

Beginning with the Grand Fiesta, this restaurant recorded middle-range profit in the former period until the minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
between July and August. To be more specific, the data increased to 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, and
gradually
went up in the latter period to exactly 140 million.

However
, that of the Delicacy
was fluctuated
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Use "(over)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
over
than a third and reached at
Use "(over)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
over
than 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in December. Earnings for the Spicy Fortune occupied a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sharpe
decrease to about 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
after a rapid increase in March to reach 170
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and the steadiness in the middle months. For the Evening Paradise, profits for this last food stall remained an upward trend in the 7- month period, starting from about 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Nonetheless, there was a drop to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in September
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
rocketedly
climbed to the peak of more than 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
dollars.
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IELTS academic Illustrated in the given line graph is the monthly figure about profits that 4 restaurants located in a city earned in 2010 (showed in million dollars).

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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