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The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. 76d5
The line graph provides the data on number of university graduate in a certain university of Canada during late 1992s to 2007 AD. Overall, the standard of female graduates were always higher as compared to that of male and the number of female kept on increasing through out the period while there was slightly a little fluctuation in terms of male graduates. At the starting point, during 1992 there was only around 70000 scholars in Canada, however the ratio kept on climbing up till 1996 where it was around 87000 afterwards the number of men drop down in a small ratio in 1998. Yet it established itself and went on incrementing till the end and as per research it had went up by 1. 4%. On the other hand the number of women were higher since the start and it kept on growing gradually. In 1998 just after two years of analysis it had grew by 5000 students. In spite of that it fell down a little in 1998 but after onwards it gradually increased till the end of the bout. As per the presentation it was discovered that the percentage had went up by almost 3. 2% as to the starting point.
The line graph provides the data on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of university graduate in a certain university of Canada during late 1992s to 2007 AD.

Overall
, the standard of female graduates were always higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to that of male and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the period while there was
slightly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fluctuation in terms of male graduates.

At the starting point, during 1992 there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 70000 scholars in Canada,
however
the ratio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on climbing up till 1996 where it was around 87000 afterwards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
ratio in 1998.
Yet
it established itself and went on incrementing till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and as per research it had
Use past participle here: "gone".
went
up by 1. 4%.

On the other hand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women were higher since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on growing
gradually
. In 1998
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after two years of analysis it had
Use past participle here: "grown".
grew
by 5000 students.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
that it fell down a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
in 1998
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after onwards it
gradually
increased till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the bout.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
per the presentation it
was discovered
that the percentage had
Use past participle here: "gone".
went
up by almost 3. 2% as to the starting point.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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