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the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. KNx6
The diagram illustrates the number of people who are visiting a special Caribbean island among 2010 and 2017. All the visitors indicate with millions. Overall, even though the number of tourists who are visiting this island with staying on cruise ships or staying on islands are increase or decrease time to time, the people who are visiting this island is steadly increased in this 8 years except 2016. In 2010, there was 1 million tourists in the island and majority of this people were staying on island. In 2011, the people staying on ships increased 0. 5 million however the population stayed on the island was not change. In 2011, total visitors number was nearly 1. 25 million. In 2012, the people who are staying on ships decrease 0. 25 million, on the other hand, the tourists who stayed on island increased to 1. 25 million so in 2012, total visitors was 1. 5 million. In 2013, the number of people who are staying on cruise ships and on islands increase to 0. 5 million and 1. 5 million respectively. In 2013, total visitors number was 2 million. In 2014 the people who prefer ships to stay was two times higher than 2013 and increase to 1 million. But the tourists number of staying on island was the same with 2013. In 2015, the number of people who are staying on island was the same 1. 5 million. The people who prefer ships increased to 1. 25 million and this makes the total number 2. 75 million in 2015. 2016 was the first year that people who are choosing ship rather than island was take the leadership. So staying on ships number increased to 1. 5 million and staying on island number decreased to 1. 25 million. Total number was the same with 2016, 2. 75 million. In 2017 total number reached to higher compared to the other years with 3. 5 million. 2 million people was prefer staying on ships and 1. 5 million people prefer staying on island.
The diagram illustrates the
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number
of
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people
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who
are visiting a special Caribbean
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island
among 2010 and 2017. All the
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visitors
indicate with millions.

Overall
,
even though
the
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number
of
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tourists
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who
are visiting this
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island
with
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staying
on cruise
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ships
or
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staying
on
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islands
are increase or decrease time to time, the
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people
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who
are visiting this
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island
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
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increased
in this 8 years except 2016.

In 2010, there was 1
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million
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tourists
in the
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island
and majority of this
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people
were
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staying
on
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island
. In 2011, the
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people
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staying
on
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ships
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increased
0. 5
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million
however
the population stayed on the
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island
was not
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change
. In 2011,
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total
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visitors
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number
was
nearly
1. 25
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million
. In 2012, the
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people
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who
are
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staying
on
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ships
decrease 0. 25
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million
,
on the other hand
, the
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tourists
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who
stayed on
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island
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increased
to 1. 25
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million
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so
in 2012,
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total
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visitors
was 1. 5
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million
. In 2013, the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on cruise
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ships
and on
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islands
increase to 0. 5
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million
and 1. 5
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million
respectively
. In 2013,
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total
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visitors
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number
was 2 million.

In 2014 the
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people
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who
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prefer
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ships
to stay was two times higher than 2013 and increase to 1
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million
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
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tourists
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number
of
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staying
on
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island
was the same with 2013. In 2015, the
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number
of
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people
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who
are
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staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was the same 1. 5
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million
. The
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people
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who
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prefer
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ships
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increased
to 1. 25
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million
and this
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makes
the
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total
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number
2. 75
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million
in 2015. 2016 was the
first
year that
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people
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who
are choosing
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ship
rather
than
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island
was take the leadership.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
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staying
on
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ships
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number
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increased
to 1. 5
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million
and
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staying
on
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island
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number
decreased to 1. 25
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million
.
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Total
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number
was the same with 2016, 2. 75
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million
. In 2017
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total
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number
reached to higher compared to the other years with 3. 5
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million
. 2
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million
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people
was
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prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
and 1. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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