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The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in the UK in the year 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in the UK in the year 2005. MJGN
The bar chart provides the percentage of British male and female employees in various working areas in 2005. Overall, it can be seen that men took part mostly in technical and required special training careers, whereas women are favorable in customer service-related jobs and working in office. The year 2005 had witnessed a profoundly rate of female workers in administrative and secretarial occupations with approximately 22%, which is also the jobs with the highest women workforce. In contrast, men only occupied more than 5% in these positions, which is correspondent to the portion in sales and customer service. Additionally, another job with only 3%, the least percentage of men working in, is personal service. However, in skilled trades, male employees appeared as 20%, a significant percentage, compared to women in this employment and in process, plant and machine operatives department, with merely 3%. Following the second highest career in 2005 are managers and senior officials, with the proportion of men and women at nearly 18% and about 12%, respectively. The most balanced occupation among the others is elementary, which are laborers and catering assistants, consisted of about 12% of men and 11% of female.
The bar chart provides the percentage of British male and female employees in various working areas in 2005.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
mostly
in technical and required special training careers, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are favorable in customer service-related jobs and working in office. The year 2005 had witnessed a
You used an adverb ('profoundly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rate') instead of another adjective.
profoundly rate
of female workers in administrative and secretarial occupations with approximately 22%, which is
also
the jobs with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
workforce.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occupied more than 5% in these positions, which is correspondent to the portion in sales and customer service.
Additionally
, another job with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3%, the least percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
working in, is personal service.
However
, in skilled trades, male employees appeared as 20%, a significant percentage, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in this employment and in process, plant and machine operatives department, with
merely
3%. Following the second highest career in 2005 are managers and senior officials, with the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at
nearly
18% and about 12%,
respectively
.

The most balanced occupation among the others is elementary, which are laborers and catering assistants, consisted of about 12% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 11% of female.

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in the UK in the year 2005.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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