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The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular CARIBBEAN island between 2010 and 2017

Personally speaking a number of tourists were increasing during 2011 for 0, 5 millions. Howeover after 2011 that started to recesssion. In 2012 the number of visitors are decreased to 2 thousand tourists. This has led to in that island the climate was very cold, for thats way most of tourists are not coming. Exactly after one year the tourists started coming again. And also in 2014 the number of tourists are very crowded, about 1 million people were coming to travel in CARABBEAN. In 2015 many visitors stay on cruise ships due to I reckon that ships are comfortable and beautiful for travelling for thats way people like that. In 2016 many humans staied on island some most of them travelled in ships and other. Totally in 2017 the number of visitors increased to 3, 5 million visitors, not only that travelling on ships and staying is increased too. At the end CARIBBEAN island become famous
Personally
speaking a
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number
of
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tourists
were increasing during 2011 for 0, 5 millions.
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Howeover
after 2011 that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
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recesssion
. In 2012 the
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number
of
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visitors
are decreased
to 2 thousand
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tourists
. This has led to
The usual preposition for “island” is “on”, not “in”.
in that island
the climate was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, for
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thats
way most of
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tourists
are not coming. Exactly after one year the
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tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
coming again. And
also
in 2014 the
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number
of
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tourists
are
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very
crowded, about 1 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were coming to travel in
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CARABBEAN
. In 2015
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many
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visitors
stay on cruise
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ships
due to I reckon that
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ships
are comfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
for travelling for
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thats
way
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people
like that. In 2016
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans
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staied
on island
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some
most of them travelled in
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ships
and other.
Totally
in 2017 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitors
increased to 3, 5 million
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visitors
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that travelling on
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ships
and staying
is increased
too. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
CARIBBEAN island become
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
famous
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular CARIBBEAN island between 2010 and 2017

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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