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THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE NUMBER OF HOURS PER DAY ON AVERAGE THAT CHILDREN SPENT WATCHING TELEVISION BETWEEN 1950 AND 2010.

THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE NUMBER OF HOURS PER DAY ON AVERAGE THAT CHILDREN SPENT WATCHING TELEVISION BETWEEN 1950 AND 2010. 96oMp
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH PERCENTAGE OF TIME CHILDREN SPENT WATCHING TELEVISION OVER A PERIOD OF 60 YEARS. OVERALL, IT IS MANIFEST FROM THE LINE GRAPH THAT THE RATIO OF CHILDREN TIME SPENT AT WATCHING TELEVISION IN 1980 WAS THE HIGHEST, WHEREAS THE RATIO OF CHILDREN TIME SPENT AT WATCHING TELEVISION WAS THE LOWEST THROUGHOUT THE GIVEN PERIOD. INITIATING AT ONLY 0. 3 HOURS/DAY IN 1950 AND INCREASING TO 0. 8 HOURS/ DAY IN 1960, THE NUMERAL OF CHILDREN SPENT TIME AT WATCHING TELEVISION RISE BY 2 HOURS/DAY IN 1970. MOREOVER, THE VALUE OF CHILDREN SPENT WATCHING AT TELEVISION EXTREMELY GROW TO 4 HOURS/DAY IN 1980. HOWEVER, THE NUMERAL OF CHILDREN SPENT WATCHING AT TELEVISION SLIGHTLY DECREASE TO 3. 8 HOURS/DAY IN 1990. NEVERTHELESS IN 2000, THE QUANTITY OF CHILDREN SPENT TIME AT WATCHING TELEVISION SLOWLY ELEVATION TO 3. 9 HOURS/DAY AND LAST THAT VALUE DECLINE BY 3. 5 HOURS/DAY IN 2010.
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH PERCENTAGE OF
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TIME
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CHILDREN
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SPENT
WATCHING
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TELEVISION
OVER A PERIOD OF 60 YEARS.
OVERALL
, IT IS MANIFEST FROM THE LINE GRAPH THAT THE RATIO OF
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CHILDREN
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "times"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'TIME' is not always incorrect.)
TIME
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SPENT
AT WATCHING
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TELEVISION
IN 1980 WAS THE HIGHEST, WHEREAS THE RATIO OF
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CHILDREN
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "times"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'TIME' is not always incorrect.)
TIME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPENT
AT WATCHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TELEVISION
WAS THE LOWEST THROUGHOUT THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD. INITIATING AT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
0. 3
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HOURS/DAY
IN 1950 AND INCREASING TO 0. 8 HOURS/ DAY IN 1960, THE NUMERAL OF
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CHILDREN
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SPENT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
AT WATCHING
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TELEVISION
RISE BY 2
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HOURS/DAY
IN 1970.
MOREOVER
, THE VALUE OF
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CHILDREN
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SPENT
WATCHING AT
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TELEVISION
EXTREMELY
GROW TO 4
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HOURS/DAY
IN 1980.
HOWEVER
, THE NUMERAL OF
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CHILDREN
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SPENT
WATCHING AT
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TELEVISION
SLIGHTLY
DECREASE TO 3. 8
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HOURS/DAY
IN 1990.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
NEVERTHELESS
IN 2000, THE QUANTITY OF
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CHILDREN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPENT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
AT WATCHING
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TELEVISION
SLOWLY
ELEVATION TO 3. 9
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HOURS/DAY
AND LAST THAT VALUE DECLINE BY 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HOURS/DAY
IN 2010.
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IELTS academic THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE NUMBER OF HOURS PER DAY ON AVERAGE THAT CHILDREN SPENT WATCHING TELEVISION BETWEEN 1950 AND 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
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