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Making of cement and concrete

Making of cement and concrete 1kWaX
The given diagrams depict how cement is made with the help of different instruments going through different cycles which in turn gets used in the making of concrete. Overall, limestone and clay are the materials which are passed through 4 different processes which then results in final product of cement. Once, the product is bagged out it is sent for making of concrete where it accounts for 15% of four materials used. Whereas, making of cement includes four tasks and instruments, concrete only requires a mixer. Initially, limestone and clay are the two materials are crushed to form a powder, where the powder is then sent to mixer. Further, mixer does the required operation and passes it to rotating heater where it continuously rotates and constant heat from one end gets passed which helps it getting warm enough for processing. Finally, the resulting mixture is ground to form it into final product, 'cement' where it is put into bags which is ready to be used. Talking about the second figure, concrete is mainly made up of gravel, which are nothing but small stones and it is found to be half of the total material used(50%). Other stuff used in concrete making are sand(25%), cement(15%) and water(10%). All these stuff are then put into a concrete mixer which continuously keeps rotating and blended to have the final resulted product called concrete.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagrams depict how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is made
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
instruments going through
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different
cycles which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the making of concrete.
Overall
, limestone and clay are the
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materials
which
are passed
through 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
processes which then results in final
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product
of
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cement
. Once, the
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product
is bagged
out it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for making of concrete where it accounts for 15% of four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. Whereas, making of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
includes four tasks and instruments, concrete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requires a mixer.

Initially
, limestone and clay are the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are crushed
to form a powder, where the powder is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to mixer.
Further
, mixer does the required operation and passes it to rotating heater where it
continuously
rotates and constant heat from one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Did you mean "past"?
passed
which
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helps
it
The verb 'gets' is used with an infinitive: "to get" or "get".
getting
warm
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enough
for processing.
Finally
, the resulting mixture
is ground
to form it into final
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product
, 'cement' where it
is put
into bags which is ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Talking about the second figure, concrete is
mainly
made up of gravel, which are nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones and it
is found
to be half of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
(50%). Other stuff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in concrete making are sand(25%),
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement(15%)
and water(10%). All these stuff are then put into a concrete mixer which
continuously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
rotating and blended to have the final resulted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
called concrete.
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IELTS academic Making of cement and concrete

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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