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The diagram shows the data about fat consumption

The diagram shows the data about fat consumption PLoxd
This line graph demonstrates  the quantity of fat people used to consume in grams  for a week over a twenty six-year period. Overall, it is clear that all incentives have changed considerably throughout  twenty-six years. To begin, we can see that  the highest correlation was reached by butter consumption in 1976 year (150g), whereas in 1997 the usage of butter shortened for a half. During the decades rates of butter usage were declining gradually. In terms of margarine, it is clear that the pick of margarine popularity was in 1981 and continued till 1986 year. Initially, margarine consumption accounted for 100 grams per week. Controversially,   proportion of margarine in 1997 was a humble 25 grams a week for a person. In contrast, low and reduced-fat-spreads amounted to a hefty 100 grams per person owing to the launch that conducted in 1984 year. We  can conclude that butter was used more  in the start of the given period, margarine in the mid-section, and finally the low and reduced fat spreads in the end of period.
This line graph demonstrates
 
the quantity of
fat
 
people
used
to consume in grams
 
for a week over a twenty six-year period.

Overall
, it is
clear
that all incentives have
changed
considerably
throughout
 
twenty-six years.

To
begin
, we can
see
that
 
the highest correlation
was reached
by
butter
consumption in 1976 year (150g), whereas in 1997 the usage of
butter
shortened for a half. During the decades rates of
butter
usage were declining
gradually
.

In terms of
margarine
, it is
clear
that the pick of
margarine
popularity was in 1981 and continued till 1986 year.
Initially
,
margarine
consumption accounted for 100
grams
per week.
Controversially
,
 
proportion of
margarine
in 1997 was a humble 25
grams
a week for a person.
In contrast
, low and
reduced
-
fat
-spreads amounted to a hefty 100
grams
per person owing to the launch that conducted in 1984 year.

We
 
can conclude that
butter
was
used
more
 
in the
start
of the
given
period,
margarine
in the mid-section, and
finally
the low and
reduced
fat
spreads in the
end
of period.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the data about fat consumption

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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