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the graph below shows the number of hour per day on watching average that children spent watching tv

the graph below shows the number of hour per day on watching average that children spent watching tv AgK2X
The graph illustrates the number of hour per day on average that children spent watching tv. this graph covers the period between 1950 to 2010 and the vertical axis shows the hours per day to watching tv. between 1950 to 1960, there was the modest rise in the average of hours per day. this was followed by a marked rise between 1960 until 1980 approximately one hour to 4 hour. over the next five years there was a slight decline. however, there was another modest rise in the end of 2010 decade. overall, it can concluded there has been significant rise in television watching. , although there is some indication that this trend will be changing in the future.
The graph illustrates the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
per day on average that children spent watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
. this graph covers the period
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1950 and 2010".
between 1950 to 2010
and the vertical axis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day to watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1950 and 1960".
between 1950 to 1960
, there was the modest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in the average of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
was followed
by a marked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
between 1960 until 1980 approximately one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
to 4
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
over
the
next
five years there was a slight decline.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, there was another modest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010 decade.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "conclude"
concluded
there has been significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in television watching.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
although there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indication that this trend will be changing in the future.

IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of hour per day on watching average that children spent watching tv

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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