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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The line graph illustrates the number of enquiries received by a tourist information office in a city by a person, via letter/email and through telephone in the month of January to June. Overall, the number of enquiries received in person and by telephone showed a significant rise over the period, while the number of enquiries received by letter or email experienced a downward trend. In January, the number of enquiries received in person and telephone were nearly 450 and 900 respectively. By February telephone’s number increased sharply throughtout the period. In the meantime, enquiries received by telephone slightly decreased to 800, but grew to 1000 in March, and then remained steady until April. Between the months April to June it experienced a rapid surge to more than 1400 and continued with a gradual increase to 1600 in June. In early January via letter or email was approximately 750. However, it remained still until March and decreased to nearly 370, number of enquiries received by letter/email and in the end of the period.
The line graph illustrates the
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number
of
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enquiries
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received
by a tourist information office in a city by a person, via letter/email and through
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telephone
in the month of January to June.

Overall
, the
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enquiries’ is British English.
enquiries
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received
in person and by
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telephone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a significant rise over the period, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enquiries’ is British English.
enquiries
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received
by letter or email experienced a downward trend.

In January, the
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enquiries’ is British English.
enquiries
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received
in person and
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telephone
were
nearly
450 and 900
respectively
. By February
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telephone’s
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number
increased
sharply
Possible spelling mistake found.
throughtout
the period. In the meantime,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enquiries’ is British English.
enquiries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
slightly
decreased to 800,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
grew to 1000 in March, and then remained steady until April. Between the months April to June it experienced a rapid surge to more than 1400 and continued with a gradual increase to 1600 in June.

In early January via letter or email was approximately 750.
However
, it remained
still
until March and decreased to
nearly
370,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enquiries’ is British English.
enquiries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
by letter/email and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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