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The graph below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006. v.2

The graph below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006. v. 2
The chart shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006. The sales of these games are displayed in dollars. On the chart we can see the biggest volume of selling was by handheld games. In each of the six years shown, no other type of game came even close in selling so much. They were being sold the most during 2006 for 18 billions of dollars in total. In the first year, other than the handheld games, only games sold were made for consoles. They were sold for volume worth almost 6 billions of dollars, but still did not come even close to number of handheld games that year, which sold in total for nearly 12 billions of dollars. The next year, online games started being sold aswell. During their debut year, in total they made around half a billion dollars in sales. In the year 2002, mobile phones finally joined the market. They sold for total of 1 billion dollars. Overall, we can spot the trend of slow increase in total volume of games sold. The exception to the rule were console games. The first year of their selling was also the highest in terms of volume. After 2000, volume of their sales gradually declined. Their lowest was 3 billion dollars in 2006, half of the amount sold in the 2000.
The chart
shows
the global
sales
of
different
kinds of digital
games
from 2000 to 2006. The
sales
of these
games
are displayed
in dollars.

On the chart we can
see
the biggest
volume
of selling was by handheld
games
. In each of the six years shown, no other type of game came even close in selling
so
much. They were
being sold
the most during 2006 for 18
billions
of
dollars
in total.

In the
first
year
, other than the handheld
games
,
only
games
sold
were made
for consoles. They
were sold
for
volume
worth almost 6
billions
of
dollars
,
but
still
did not
come
even close to number of handheld
games
that
year
, which sold in
total
for
nearly
12
billions
of dollars.

The
next
year
, online
games
started
being sold
aswell
. During their debut
year
, in
total
they made around half a
billion
dollars
in
sales
. In the
year
2002, mobile phones
finally
joined
the market. They sold for
total
of 1
billion
dollars.

Overall
, we can spot the trend of slow increase in
total
volume
of
games
sold. The exception to the
rule
were
console
games
. The
first
year
of their selling was
also
the highest in terms of
volume
. After 2000,
volume
of their
sales
gradually
declined. Their lowest was 3
billion
dollars
in 2006, half of the amount sold in the 2000.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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