Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below show information about consumer decisions regarding mobile phone purchases in two different countries. v.2

The charts below show information about consumer decisions regarding mobile phone purchases in two different countries. v. 2
The pie charts below illustrate the data about the relevant factors on consuming a mobile phone in two countries, ie Country A and Country B. The importance of price is higher in Country A, whereas brand and design are more remarkable in Country B. The pie chart on the left shows the importance for customers in Country A see when they buy a mobile phone is the price, occupies fifty percent of the chart in Country A, against nine percent of the chart in Country B. Instead, design in the Country A has one quarter of importance than in Country B. Moreover, brand in the right relevance in the chart is just under one in five, while in the chart of the brand in Country A is under one in ten. As we can see from the charts, the importance on friends’ endorsements is quite the same, which is about one in three in both the charts.
The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
below illustrate the data about the relevant factors on consuming a mobile phone in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of price is higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A, whereas brand and design are more remarkable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B.

The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
for customers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a mobile phone is the price, occupies fifty percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A, against nine percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B.

Instead
, design in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A has one quarter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B.
Moreover
, brand in the right relevance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under one in five, while in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
of the brand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A is under one in ten.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
on friends’ endorsements is quite the same, which is about one in three in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The charts below show information about consumer decisions regarding mobile phone purchases in two different countries. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts