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The graph below shows the fiction books sale during 2006 to 2010.

The graph below shows the fiction books sale during 2006 to 2010. 2qyb
The bar graph depicts the sale of five different types of fiction books namely, young adult, classic, mystery, romance, and sci-fi & fantasy from 2006 to 2010. The units measured in thousand dollars. Observing the details, approximately, 30, 000 dollars of sale occurred from young adult type of book in 2006; while, this figure remained steady till 2007. But, then it decreased slightly by less than 20, 000 dollars in 2008. However, the sale of book rose gradually and stood at around $29, 000 in 2010. It is surprising to note that, the romance books and mystery books followed same pattern for sale; which fluctuated in trend. Around $80, 000 and less than $60, 000 sale noted for romantic books and mystery books respectively in 2010. Also, the sale of classic books and sci-fi& fantasy books up wared in trend till 2007. By contrast, only &10, 000 sale observed in 2009. Which was the lowest figure in the given period of time. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the romantic books were more popular; whereas, classic books were less famous among the people in between 2006 and 2010.
The bar graph depicts the
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sale
of five
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different
types of fiction
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books
namely
, young adult, classic, mystery, romance, and sci-fi & fantasy from 2006 to 2010. The units measured in
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
dollars.

Observing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, approximately, 30, 000 dollars of
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sale
occurred from young adult type of
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book
in 2006; while, this figure remained steady till 2007.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, then it decreased
slightly
by less than 20, 000 dollars in 2008.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
rose
gradually
and stood at around $29, 000 in 2010. It is surprising to note that, the romance
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books
and mystery
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books
followed same pattern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
; which fluctuated in trend. Around $80, 000 and less than $60, 000
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sale
noted for romantic
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books
and mystery
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books
respectively
in 2010.

Also
, the
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sale
of classic
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books
and
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sci-fi&
fantasy
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books
up
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "warred", the past tense form of the verb 'war'?
wared
in trend till 2007. By contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
&10, 000
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sale
observed in 2009.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
was the lowest figure in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the romantic
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books
were more popular; whereas, classic
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books
were less
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famous
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in between 2006 and 2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the fiction books sale during 2006 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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