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The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. poML
The line graph shows the number of people using two different music websites on the internet (music choice and pop parade) in fifteen days’ period of time. Overall, it is clear that both sites showed fluctuations in visitors with an increase in pop parade use and a decrease in music choice use towards the end of the period. Starting with 40, 000 visitors to music choice the first day, however half of them backed out the next day. Then on the 3rd day the enthusiasm went back up to 60, 000 visitors. After that, the amount of people kept slightly fluctuating reaching the lowest number of 20, 000 on the 7th and 9th day. The number peaked at 120, 000 after 3 days but then decreased again for approximately 10, 000 the 13th day. As for the pop parade site, it started with a significant number of users (120, 000) the first day and remained somewhat steady for the next 3 days. Despite that, the number listeners fluctuated for 6 days with the lowest of 30, 000 visitors on day 7. After the 9th day, there was an escalation to 150, 000 on the 11th day but then it fell to 80, 000 on day 13. Towards the end, the visitors of the pop parade site reached a peak of 170, 000. On the contrast, the music choice use decreased steadily to 70, 000.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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number
of
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people
using two
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different
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music
websites on the internet
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(music
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choice
and pop
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parade)
in fifteen days’ period of time.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that both sites
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showed
fluctuations in
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visitors
with an increase in pop
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parade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and a decrease in
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Starting with 40, 000
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visitors
to
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
the
first
day,
however
half of them backed out the
next
day. Then on the 3rd day the enthusiasm went back up to 60, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. After that, the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
slightly
fluctuating reaching the lowest
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number
of 20, 000 on the 7th and 9th day. The
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number
peaked at 120, 000 after 3 days
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but
then decreased again for approximately 10, 000 the 13th day.

As for the pop
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parade
site, it
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started
with a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of users (120, 000) the
first
day and remained somewhat steady for the
next
3 days. Despite that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
listeners fluctuated for 6 days with the lowest of 30, 000
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visitors
on day 7. After the 9th day, there was an escalation to 150, 000 on the 11th day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it fell to 80, 000 on day 13.

Towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the
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visitors
of the pop
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parade
site reached a peak of 170, 000. On the contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
decreased
steadily
to 70, 000.
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IELTS academic The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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