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the graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer . the pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. the pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. KEkM
The chart demonstrate the rang of consume for electricity in England while in typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart indicates how electricity is consume in normal rang of English home. In general, maximum demand in summer was shown about 20, 000 at 13pm while in winter the most using was demonstrates more than 40, 000, at21In the other hand, we can see from the chart the minimum of consuming refer to winter (near 35, 000) at 9 am although the rang of using electricity in summer time was stayed in constant line, but at 9 it is clear that we have increasing (about 19, 000 units) in summer dramatically increasing from 9 to 14 (12, 000 to 20, 000) also these changes occure in winter at 7 until 13 it was slightly increased. overall, by the pie chart illustrates the most percentage of using electricity 52% refer to heating rooms and heating water that it was followed by winter time, and 17%for oven and washing machines, also its clear these percentages in the same amount 15% for lightening and tv.
The
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chart
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "demonstrates".
demonstrate
the rang of consume for
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electricity
in England while in typical days in
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winter
and
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summer
. The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
indicates how
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electricity
is
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
in normal rang of English home.
In general
, maximum demand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
was shown
about 20, 000 at 13pm while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
the most using was demonstrates more than 40, 000, at21In the other hand, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
the minimum of consuming refer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
(near 35, 000) at 9 am although the rang of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in
Consider using "summer".
summer time
was stayed
in constant line,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at 9 it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that we have increasing (about 19, 000 units) in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
dramatically
increasing from 9 to 14 (12, 000 to 20, 000)
also
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
Possible spelling mistake found.
occure
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
at 7 until 13 it was
slightly
increased.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, by the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the most percentage of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
52% refer to heating rooms and heating water that it
was followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
time, and 17%for oven and washing machines,
also
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
these percentages in the same amount 15% for lightening and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. the pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • the graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer . the pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.