Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time . Other say that it is important for children to learn how to oocupy themselves on their own. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Other say that it is important for children to learn how to oocupy themselves on their own. d1MK
In the salad days of millenium, the society is polarised into two graphs almost equally regarding the notion that some express that work in team should pivotal whereas others argue that offspring should learn and implement by themselves alone. Different people have their distint mindset the following paragraph would shed light on both the approaches before making the final sheet. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things should be shared in its flavour. First and foremost, working in team is more beneficial for juveniles, it enhance their innovative ideas as well they learn how to interact with others as a team member. Secondly, we work in a company we need to pay less effort but we will get huge fruitful result. Moreover, as a member of team we learn how to co-operate with colleagues and we will gain our knowledge towards that team. Shifting towards the second school of thought, if blooming bird learn by themselves they will boost their confidence. Hence, they learn how to handle all works on one time. In addition, working alone make the youngster more hard worker. As a result, they will face every difficulty and they will observe how to track out the situations alone. Furthermore, they will also gain knowledge and get new ideas towards their work and future career. In my opinion, i believe that if young adult work in group which is more useful for them. By working with such member they will get social and communication skills. To sum up, it is clear that parents should encouraged their wards to join group activities in which they are overcome the fear and make themselves well to do new things in their life.
In the salad days of
Possible spelling mistake found.
millenium
, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two graphs almost
equally
regarding the notion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
express that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
should pivotal whereas others argue that offspring should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and implement by themselves alone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
Possible spelling mistake found.
distint
mindset the following paragraph would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the final sheet. To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things should
be shared
in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
.
First
and foremost, working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is more beneficial for juveniles, it
Did you mean "enhances"?
enhance
their innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
as well
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to interact with others as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
member.
Secondly
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
we need to pay less effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge fruitful result.
Moreover
, as a member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to co-operate with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
colleagues and
we will gain our knowledge towards that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, if blooming bird
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
by themselves they will boost their confidence.
Hence
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to handle all works on one time.
In addition
, working alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the youngster more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
worker.
As a result
, they will face every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
difficulty and
they will observe how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
out the situations alone.
Furthermore
, they will
also
gain knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and future career. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that if young adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in group which is more useful for them. By working with such member they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
social and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that parents should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "encourage"
encouraged
their wards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
group activities in which they
are overcome
the fear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well to do
new things in their life.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Other say that it is important for children to learn how to oocupy themselves on their own.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time . Other say that it is important for children to learn how to oocupy themselves on their own. Discuss both view and give your opinion.