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The table shows the information about the results of a survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the activities, clubs facilities and opening hours

The table shows the information about the results of a survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the activities, clubs facilities and opening hours LkNn
The provided table gives the information about the results of a survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the three different club's facilities. Overview, it is noticed from the table that the highest percentage of female members are very satisfied about the club facilities as compared to male members. Turning to the data, the percentage of female members is 35 who are very satisfied about the rang of activities. 30% female members of a city sports club are not satisfied about the club's activities. The percentage of male members is 55 who are very satisfied about the club's activities. 40% male members are satisfied and 4% male members are not satisfied about the range of activities. 64% female are very satisfied about the club's facilities. Whereas 14% female members are not satisfied about these facilities. Addition to this, 72 % female members are very satisfied about the opening hours and 25% female are satisfied. Whereas 3% female are not satisfied. The percentage of male members is 44% who are very satisfied about the opening hours. 19% and 37 % male members are satisfied and not satisfied about the opening hours respectively.
The provided table gives the information about the results of a survey to find out what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of a city sports club
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club's
facilities.

Overview, it
is noticed
from the table that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the club facilities as compared to male members.

Turning to the data, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is 35 who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the rang of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. 30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of a city sports club are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is 55 who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. 40% male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and 4% male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. 64%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club's
facilities.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
14%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about these facilities.

Addition to this, 72 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the opening hours and 25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
3%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is 44% who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the opening hours. 19% and 37 % male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
about the opening hours
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the information about the results of a survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the activities, clubs facilities and opening hours

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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