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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a european country between 1979 and 2004

The line graph presents information about consumers of fish and any different types of meat such as beef, chicken, lamb in countries of European, during 24 years from 1979 to 2004. Overall, beef, lamb had experienced downward trend while chicken had experienced upward trend. In the end of period fish was remained steadily. In 1979 the most favourite meat was beef, but it was replaced in 2004 by chicken. In the first period, The highest consumers of beef it was expenditure around 210 grams and it was moved down significantly from 170 grams to 100 grams in 2004. In 1979 it was followed by lamb with approximately 150 grams it was fell slightly around 147 grams in 1989, it was fell significantly approximately 147 grams to 60 grams in 2004. The consumers of chicken had upward trend, in 1979 was rose moderately around 200 grams in 1989 and it had risen significantly to 250 grams in 2004. The number of consumption fish was around 60 grams, it was dropped slightly approximately 46 grams. The highest consumption of meat was chicken in 2004 and it were followed by beef, lamb and the last was fish.
The line graph presents information about consumers of fish and any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of meat such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
, chicken,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
in countries of European, during 24 years from 1979 to 2004.
Overall
,
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beef
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
had experienced downward trend while chicken had experienced upward trend. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period fish
was remained
steadily
. In 1979 the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
meat was
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beef
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was replaced
in 2004 by chicken.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the
first
period, The highest consumers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
it was expenditure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
210
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
down
significantly
from 170
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
to 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2004.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
The comma is probably missing here: "1979, it".
1979 it
was followed
by
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lamb
with approximately 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
it was fell
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
147
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1989, it was fell
significantly
approximately 147
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2004.

The consumers of chicken had upward
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "trended".
trend
, in 1979 was rose
moderately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1989 and it had risen
significantly
to 250
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2004. The number of consumption fish was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, it
was dropped
slightly
approximately 46
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
highest consumption of meat was chicken in 2004 and it
were followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
and the last was fish.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a european country between 1979 and 2004

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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