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Some children find some school subjects difficult ( for example maths or philosophy ) , so these subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

A glance at the graph provided reveals some striking similarities concerning the proportion of travelers who visited to Caribbean island over the period 7 years. (2010 and 2017) One particularly interesting fact highlighted by the figure is that all types of visitors saw significant increase, and total guests were the higher than the other visitors. With regard to details, the tourists who stayed on cruise ships started to improve from 0. 3 to 0. 5 million people during 2011s. Then, they increased dramatically after some fluctuations from 0. 5 to 2 millions of visitors till the end of year. (2017) As can be seen from the picture, the number of total tourists went up from 1 to 1. 5 million in 2012, simultaneously, the figures for visitors that were staying on island rose from 0. 7 to 1. 3 million. The total visitors increased surprisingly from 1. 5 to 3. 5 million travelers, and this was the highest percentage during the visiting history. However, the guests that were staying on island went a steady after a small increase from 1. 3 to 1. 5 million, and this was stable till the 2017s.
A glance at the graph provided reveals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
striking similarities concerning the proportion of travelers who visited
A determiner is probably missing here: "to the Caribbean".
to Caribbean
island over the period 7 years. (2010 and 2017)

One
The extreme adjective for interesting is "fascinating", or "exciting".
particularly interesting
fact highlighted by the figure is that all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
significant increase, and total guests were the higher than the other visitors.

With regard to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the tourists who stayed on cruise ships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
from 0. 3 to 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
during 2011s. Then, they increased
dramatically
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations from 0. 5 to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of year. (2017)

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the picture, the number of total tourists went up from 1 to 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2012,
simultaneously
, the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
that were staying on island rose from 0. 7 to 1. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
increased
surprisingly
from 1. 5 to 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
travelers, and this was the highest percentage during the visiting history.
However
, the guests that were staying on island went a steady after a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
increase from 1. 3 to 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, and this was stable till the 2017s.
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IELTS academic Some children find some school subjects difficult ( for example maths or philosophy ), so these subjects should be optional rather than compulsory.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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