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The graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers in 2015. the number shown is in percent

The graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers in 2015. the number shown is in percent YgdB5
The figure below represents data about fast food consumption by Australian teenagers in 2015. The data was presented in percentage. Overall, there were three lines, each line represent the type of food which were pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers. There were no chaotic up and down for all of the lines. The highest number for all of the lines were 100%. Fish and chips reached it peaks in 1975 with 100%. The line dropped a little to just above 90% in 1980. The number of consumer rised again in 1985 to a little bit below 100%. However, it dropped significantly from 1985 to 2000. The line then reached its lowest point with 40% consumer. Hamburgers reached its peak in 2000 with 100% consumer. Meanwhile the lowest for hamburgers consumers were below 20% in 1975. From 1975, the line rised significantly until it reached a little bit above 80% in 1985 and it continued to rised until 100% in 1990. The number of consumers stayed steady until 2000. For pizza, the lowest point was below 20% in 1975. Nevertheless, the line went up drastically to slightly above 90% in 1995. After that, the number of consumers stayed the same until 2000.
The figure
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below
represents data about
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fast
food consumption by Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in 2015. The data
was presented
in percentage.

Overall
, there were three
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lines
, each
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line
represent the type of food which were pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers. There were no chaotic up and down for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
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lines
. The highest
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number
for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
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lines
were 100%.

Fish and chips
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reached
it peaks in 1975 with 100%. The
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line
dropped a
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little
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 90% in 1980. The
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
again in 1985 to a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
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below
100%.
However
, it dropped
significantly
from 1985 to 2000. The
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line
then
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reached
its lowest point with 40% consumer.

Hamburgers
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reached
its peak in 2000 with 100%
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consumer
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the lowest for hamburgers
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consumers
were
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below
20% in 1975. From 1975, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
significantly
until it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
above 80% in 1985 and it continued to
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
until 100% in 1990. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
stayed steady until 2000. For pizza, the lowest point was
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below
20% in 1975.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
went up
drastically
to
slightly
above 90% in 1995. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
stayed the same until 2000.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers in 2015. the number shown is in percent

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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