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average Australian household and green gas emission

average Australian household and green gas emission gGb8L
The two pie charts give information about the percentage of energy use and greenhouse gas emissions from Australian households respectively Overall, it is clear that the highest usage of energy goes to water heating and heating, while appliances and water heating is the highest source of gas emissions from Australian households. Australian households spent the most of their energy supplies on water heating 30% and I represent the highest source of gas emissions too. Although the heating represents the highest energy usage by 42% of energy use, it is not represented the highest gas emission source with only 15%. Meanwhile, although home appliances and refrigeration take only 15% and 7% of the energy usage in Australian households, it has a higher rate of gas emission with 28% and 14% compared to other usage respectively. Other energy usages like cooling and lighting consume only 2% and 4% of the energy provided to the households while they have the lowest gas emission rate with 3 and 8% respectively.
The two pie charts give information about the percentage of
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energy
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use
and greenhouse
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gas
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emissions
from Australian
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households
respectively


Overall
, it is
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clear
that the highest
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usage
of
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energy
goes to water
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heating
and
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heating
, while appliances and water
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heating
is the highest source of
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gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
from Australian households.

Australian
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households
spent the most of their
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energy
supplies on water
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heating
30% and I represent the highest source of
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gas
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emissions
too. Although the
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heating
represents the highest
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energy
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usage
by 42% of
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, it is not represented the highest
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gas
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emission
source with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.

Meanwhile, although home appliances and refrigeration take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% and 7% of the
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
in Australian
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households
, it has a higher rate of
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gas
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emission
with 28% and 14% compared to other
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usage
respectively
.

Other
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
like cooling and lighting consume
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% and 4% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
provided to the
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households
while they have the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
rate with 3 and 8%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic average Australian household and green gas emission

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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