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The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to book clubs over a four-year period.

The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to book clubs over a four-year period. yRAr3
The line graph illustrate information about changes in amount of money which book club received from a city council during four year period. It also shows how many people there are in book club in the same period. Overall, there were an upward trend in number of book club members though less money was donated by city council in last year. As can be seen from the line graph, in the first two years, there were rose slightly in amount of money given by city council, from Pound 20000 to about Pound 22500. By contrast, the number of book club member were dropped from near 6000 to 5000. In third year, the city council spent to book club Pound 40000, which rose considerably by comparison with previous year. Besides, the member participant in book club also grew sharply from 5000 to 10000, this figure were also the maximum number of members during four year. In last year, this were opposite trends. Whereas the number of book club member were increased to 12000, the city council gave book club less money than before. Over four-year period, the city council spent the highest money in the third year, it peaked at Pound 40000.
The line graph illustrate information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in amount of
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money
which
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book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
received from a city council during four
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year
period. It
also
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shows
how
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there are in
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book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
in the same period.

Overall
, there were an upward trend in
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
though less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was donated
by city council in last year.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the line graph, in the
first
two years, there were rose
slightly
in amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by city council, from Pound 20000 to about Pound 22500. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
were dropped
from near 6000 to 5000. In third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the city council spent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
Pound 40000, which rose
considerably
by comparison with previous
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year
.
Besides
, the
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member
participant in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
also
grew
sharply
from 5000 to 10000, this figure were
also
the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
during four year.

In last
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year
,
The verb 'were' is plural. Did you mean "these were", "this is" or "this was"?
this were
opposite trends. Whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
were increased
to 12000, the city council gave
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book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
less
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money
than
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before
. Over four-year period, the city council spent the highest
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money
in the third
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year
, it peaked at Pound 40000.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to book clubs over a four-year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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