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Pollutants into ocean in 1997 and 2007

Pollutants into ocean in 1997 and 2007 keDoK
The two pie charts depict the percentage of pollutants entering a particular part of an ocean between the years 1997 and 2007. Overall, pollutants from air made the majority of pullutants seconded by marine and domestic sewage wastes. Notably, litter and farm wastes made the least accounted for. It's evidently seen in 1997, air pollutants was the highest by 30%and a slight plunge of 1% was noted in 2007 accounting to 29%. Moreover, 22% of marine pollutants in 1997 was entering the sea but had a decrease of 5% in the year 2007. Interestingly, litter and farm wastes flopped from 40% in 1997 and 2007 to 0% and 2% respectively. The chart further demonstrates in 1997 domestic sewage was at 18% and a significant increase of 9% is noted in 2007. Offshore oil too was affirmed to have had a dramatically increased from 5% to 14% in the course of the ten year gap.
The two pie charts depict the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutants
entering a particular part of an ocean between the years 1997 and 2007.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutants
from air made the majority of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pullutants
seconded by marine and domestic sewage wastes.
Notably
, litter and farm wastes made the least accounted for.

It's
evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 1997, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutants
was the highest by 30%and a slight plunge of 1%
was noted
in 2007 accounting to 29%.
Moreover
, 22% of marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutants
in 1997 was entering the sea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had a decrease of 5% in the year 2007.
Interestingly
, litter and farm wastes flopped from 40% in 1997 and 2007 to 0% and 2%
respectively
.

The chart
further
demonstrates in 1997 domestic sewage was at 18% and a significant increase of 9%
is noted
in 2007. Offshore oil too
was affirmed
to have had a
dramatically
increased from 5% to 14% in the course of the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-year"
ten year
gap.
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IELTS academic Pollutants into ocean in 1997 and 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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