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The graph below shows female unemployment rate

The graph below shows female unemployment rate BEl9
The provided bar chart gives information about the percentage of women who out of work In England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland for two consecutive years 2013 and 2014. It is clear from the graph that Female unemployment rates In England and Scotland Was roughly a bit more than Wales and Northern Ireland, and also In 2013 and 2014 Most and least Belonged to England and Northern Ireland. In 2013 and 2014, England, Wales and northern Ireland almost Had a little decreasing trend although Scotland had been upwardly increased by nearly six in ten percent. However Wales and Northern Ireland With a tiny fraction were lower than two other countries. In that two years, the portion of unemployed women was higher than 5 precent in all countries, despite of only Northern Ireland had 4. 6 percent that of. u
The provided bar chart gives information about the percentage of women who out of work

In England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland for two consecutive years 2013 and 2014.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that Female unemployment rates In England and Scotland

Was roughly a bit more than Wales and Northern Ireland, and
also
In 2013 and 2014

Most and least Belonged to England and Northern Ireland.

In 2013 and 2014, England, Wales and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
northern Ireland
almost Had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
decreasing trend although Scotland had been
upwardly
increased by
nearly
six in ten percent.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Wales and Northern Ireland With a tiny fraction were lower than two other countries.

In that two years, the portion of unemployed women was higher than 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
precent
in all countries,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Northern Ireland had 4. 6 percent that of. u
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IELTS academic The graph below shows female unemployment rate

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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