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The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010. Oxq3
The line graph illustrates how people switch their employment with time from one field to other fields from 1930 to 2010 time period. Overall, Farming, fishing and Foresting are exponentially decreased with time. In comparison, All other fields are adapted the same way like the first few years little increase and then some are higher and some are the same as it starts. In the year 1930, Farming, fishing, and Foresting are employed by 75% of the population which will face a decline over time and less than 10% of people choosing this field in 2010. While technical, industrial and sales and office was less popular in 1930 which was in between 0 to 10% but after 50 years people preferred them over other areas of employment up to 40%. Other services were less popular among people and have the same trend in 2010.
The line graph illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
switch their employment with
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time
from one
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field
to
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
from 1930 to 2010
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time
period.

Overall
, Farming, fishing and Foresting are
exponentially
decreased with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In comparison
, All
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
are adapted
the same way
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
the
first
few years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
increase and then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are higher and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are the same as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
.

In the year 1930, Farming, fishing, and Foresting
are employed
by 75% of the population which will face a decline over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and less than 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choosing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in 2010. While technical, industrial and sales and office was less popular in 1930 which was in between 0 to 10%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 50 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred them over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas of employment up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40%. Other
services were less popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and have the same trend in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.