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The maps illustrate how West Park Secondary School transformed after some developments in three main years from 1950 to 2010.

The maps illustrate how West Park Secondary School transformed after some developments in three main years from 1950 to 2010. 0e0B
The maps illustrate how West Park Secondary School transformed after some developments in three main years from 1950 to 2010. Overall, it is clearly seen that the secondary school witnessed a remarkable renovation by replacing some new area throughout the shown period. According to the 1950 map, West Park Secondary School had only one building with its playground surrounded by houses and a farmland. However, after a period of 30 years, the residential area was made into parts of the school. A science block was constructed adjoining the main building, and on the left-hand side of it was a car park. The redevelopment of the school between 1980 and 2010 demonstrates a significant change. Sports field was the new area which replaced the previous farmland in 1980. Nevertheless, its sized was minimized and relocated next to the playground - which was also made smaller in order for the car park could be extended.
The maps illustrate how West Park Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
transformed after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developments in three main years from 1950 to 2010.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
witnessed a remarkable renovation by replacing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new area throughout the shown period.

According to the 1950 map, West Park Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one building with its playground surrounded by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and a farmland.
However
, after a period of 30 years, the residential area
was made
into parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. A science block
was constructed
adjoining the main building, and on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-hand side of it was a car park.

The redevelopment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
between 1980 and 2010 demonstrates a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Sports field was the new area which replaced the previous farmland in 1980.
Nevertheless
, its sized
was minimized
and relocated
next
to the playground
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which was
also
made smaller in order for the car park could
be extended
.
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IELTS academic The maps illustrate how West Park Secondary School transformed after some developments in three main years from 1950 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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