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The maps illustrate the changes which have occurred in West Park Secondary School, over 6-decade period beginning in 1950 and ending in 2010.

The maps illustrate the changes which have occurred in West Park Secondary School, over 6-decade period beginning in 1950 and ending in 2010. aNMw
The maps illustrate the changes which have occurred in West Park Secondary School, over 6-decade period beginning in 1950 and ending in 2010. A significant change is the replacement farmland and houses with car park and science block over 60 years. However, there was remained unchanged in the school and the main road. To begin, the most noticeable change was shown when the farmland in 1950 was constructed with a sports field in 1980 and a car park in 2010. Moreover, 1950 saw a several houses. It was redesigned to be a car pak and science block in 1980 and 2010. Furthermore, the playground experienced a slight change over the years, because the only difference was extensive of its area. There was a quite small sports field next to the play ground in 2010, while in 1950 there was no sports field. Interestingly, the main road and the school stayed unchanged over 60-year period.
The maps illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
which have occurred in West Park Secondary School,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
6-decade period beginning in 1950 and ending in 2010. A significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is the replacement farmland and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
with car park and science block
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 years.
However
, there
was remained
unchanged in the school and the main road.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the most noticeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
was shown
when the farmland in 1950
was constructed
with a sports field in 1980 and a car park in 2010.
Moreover
, 1950
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. It
was redesigned
to be a car
Possible spelling mistake found.
pak
and science block in 1980 and 2010.

Furthermore
, the playground experienced a slight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
difference was extensive of its area. There was a quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sports field
next
to the play ground in 2010, while in 1950 there was no sports field.
Interestingly
, the main road and the school stayed unchanged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60-year period.
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IELTS academic The maps illustrate the changes which have occurred in West Park Secondary School, over 6-decade period beginning in 1950 and ending in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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