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The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. jMpX
The maps illustrate the development and alteration that have happened at West Park Secondary School since it was first built in 1950. The school building and the main road have not changed throughout the years. Houses to the left of the school were removed in 1980 and the car park with the science blocks was constructed next to the school instead. Farmland at the left bottom of the map was taken up by school and developed into a sports field for children in 1980. However, in 2010 the car park was increased in size and took the whole area of the field. Subsequently, as there was a need for sports, the huge area of playground situated at the right bottom corner have been cut by one-third and replaced by a sports field. In brief, the area for the past 60 years has been profoundly changed and optimised for the schools’ various needs.
The maps illustrate the development and alteration that have happened at West Park Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
since it was
first
built in 1950.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
building and the main road have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
throughout the years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Houses
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
were removed
in 1980 and the car park with the science blocks
was constructed
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
instead
. Farmland at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
bottom of the map
was taken
up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and developed into a sports field for children in 1980.
However
, in 2010 the car park
was increased
in size and took the whole area of the field.
Subsequently
, as there was a need for sports, the huge area of playground situated at the right bottom corner have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
by one-third and replaced by a sports field.

In brief
, the area for the past 60 years has been
profoundly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'optimised' is British English.
optimised
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
various needs.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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