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The graph below plots rail industry revenues and subsidies from 1989-90 to 2009-10. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below plots rail industry revenues and subsidies from 1989-90 to 2009-10. payA3
The graph illustrates the percentage of government support from the total revenue in the rail industry from year 1989-90 to 2009-10. Whereas, the cost of revenue is according to year 2009-10. Overall, the total cost of revenue as well as the government support was high in year 2006-07. Whereas, it was low in year 1995-96. It also seen that government never supported more than 45% in any of these year. At the begenning of year 1889-90, the cost of revenue was slighty more than 6 billion pound, and government support almost 25% which costs 1. 75 billion pound. Moreoevr, till 1992-93, wealth is increased around 8 billion ponds, and the contribution of government was 40% of the amount. Furthermore, cost dropped to 5 billion in 1995-96, but government contributed only 0. 5 billion pounds. After this year there was increment in rate of revenue in 1998-99 it almost 7 billion ponds with 30% of subsidy and again dropped slightly till 2000-2001. From 2001 it continuesly growing up and it was at peak in year 2006-2007 with amount 14 billion ponds with 6. 5 billion subsidy. Furtherly, it decreased to 37 billion pond in year 2009-2010.
The graph illustrates the percentage of
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government
support from the total
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revenue
in the rail industry from
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year
1989-90 to 2009-10.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the
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cost
of
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revenue
is according to
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year
2009-10.

Overall
, the total
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cost
of
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revenue
as well
as the
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government
support was high in
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year
2006-07.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, it was low in
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year
1995-96. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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government
never supported more than 45% in any of
Did you mean "this year" or "these years"?
these year
.

At the
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begenning
of
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year
1889-90, the
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cost
of
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revenue
was
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slighty
more than 6
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billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
, and
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government
support almost 25% which
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costs
1. 75
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billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moreoevr
, till 1992-93, wealth
is increased
around 8
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ponds
, and the contribution of
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government
was 40% of the amount.
Furthermore
,
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cost
dropped to 5
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billion
in 1995-96,
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but
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government
contributed
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only
0. 5
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billion
pounds.

After this
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year
there was increment in rate of
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revenue
in 1998-99 it almost 7
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billion
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ponds
with 30% of subsidy and again dropped
slightly
till 2000-2001. From 2001 it
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuesly
growing up and it was at peak in
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year
2006-2007 with amount 14
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billion
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ponds
with 6. 5
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billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'subsidy' seems to be countable, so consider using: "subsidies".
subsidy
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furtherly
, it decreased to 37
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billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pond' seems to be countable, so consider using: "ponds".
pond
in
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year
2009-2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below plots rail industry revenues and subsidies from 1989-90 to 2009-10.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below plots rail industry revenues and subsidies from 1989-90 to 2009-10. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.