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the graph show the proportion of three nutrients in three diffrent diets. Summerize the information and make comparisons.

the graph show the proportion of three nutrients in three diffrent diets. 867Vk
The given pie charts compare the distribution in the data on intake of three nutrients in various diets including healthy diet for sport, healthy diet and average diet. From an overall perspective, it is evident that carbohydrates consumption accounted for the relatively large proportion in total diets. While the reverse pattern could be observed in the figure of fat. In terms of a healthy diet for sport, the percentage of carbohydrates which was taken in was highest, at 60%. The protein consumption was lower, at 25%. Fat, however, made up the lowest proportion, at only 15%. In an average diet, the consumption of both carbohydrate and protein took up equal percentage, at 40 %, this figure doubled the consumption of fat, at 20%. The carbohydrates which was eaten contributed a half of the total nutrients in healthy diet, the rest of portion was the data on protein as well as fat, at 30% and 20%, respectively. Nearly two thirds of the healthy diet for sport was a proportion of carbohydrates, the intake of protein was a quarter, this data was higher than fat by 10%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts compare the distribution in the data on intake of three nutrients in various diets including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sport,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and average diet.

From an
overall
perspective, it is evident that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "carbohydrates'" or "carbohydrate's"?
carbohydrates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
accounted for the
relatively
large proportion in total diets.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the reverse pattern could
be observed
in the figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

In terms of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sport, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
which
was taken
in was highest, at 60%. The protein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was lower, at 25%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fat
,
however
, made up the lowest proportion, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.

In an average diet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
and protein took up equal percentage, at 40 %, this figure doubled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, at 20%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
which
was eaten
contributed a half of the total nutrients in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet, the rest of portion was the data on protein
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, at 30% and 20%,
respectively
.
Nearly
two thirds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sport was a proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
, the intake of protein was a quarter, this data was higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
by 10%.

IELTS academic the graph show the proportion of three nutrients in three diffrent diets.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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