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The graph below gives the results of a survey showing what 1000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012

The graph below gives the results of a survey showing what 1000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012 XDxQY
The given bar chart depicts the outcome of a survey giving information about the activities that were done by the young generation (1000 people) after they had finished studying at school from 2008 to 2012. In general, there are 2 main trends. Firstly, the majority of school leavers chose to find a suitable job both in 2008 and 2012. Secondly, the number of people who went to university remained unchanged. To start with, nearly 500 people decided to look for work in 2008, then this figure fell considerably to more than 300 in 2010 and reached a peak at about 390 in 2012. Moreover, the quantity of those who took a rest after graduating witnessed an upward trend from 200 people in 2008 to above 300 people in 2012. In addition to that, although the figure of the young who continued studying in university fluctuated over the period of time, it stayed constant at 300 people at the beginning and the end of that period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart depicts the outcome of a survey giving information about the activities that
were done
by the young generation (1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people)
after they had finished studying at school from 2008 to 2012.

In general
, there are 2 main trends.
Firstly
, the majority of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
chose to find a suitable job both in 2008 and 2012.
Secondly
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who went to university remained unchanged.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
nearly
500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to look for work in 2008, then this figure fell
considerably
to more than 300 in 2010 and reached a peak at about 390 in 2012.
Moreover
, the quantity of those who took a rest after graduating witnessed an upward trend from 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2008 to above 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2012.

In addition
to that, although the figure of the young who continued studying in university fluctuated over the period of time, it stayed constant at 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the beginning and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of that period.
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IELTS academic The graph below gives the results of a survey showing what 1000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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