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The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014.

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014. G0yB
The given line graph provides information about commonly purchased in different three tipy of bakery such as Bread, Buns and Pies in the 2014 Overall, it can be clearly seen that there are different results about starting and ending not only beginning and ending but also there are different changes. To star with, coming to beginning of the period Pies started purchasing 80000 dollars, however, Buns started about 40000 dollars and Bread twice as many as Buns in the beginning. Although Bread started 80000 dollars in the January, but then it was sharply decreased to 45000 dollars and at the end of this year it illustrated the same dollars as beginning. Buns in the mid months it fluctuated. Afterwards, in comparison, there are sensible differences between Pies and Buns. However, at the end of year Both of them provided just the same statistics which were about 35000 dollars. Pies increased during the year but Buns increased to 70000 dollars in the August but then it sharply dropped between month especially August and December.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph provides information about
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
three
Possible spelling mistake found.
tipy
of bakery such as Bread,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buns
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pies
in the 2014
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
results about starting and ending not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beginning
and ending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. To star with, coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beginning
of the period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
purchasing 80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
about 40000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and Bread twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buns
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beginning
. Although Bread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the January,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it was
sharply
decreased to 45000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this year it illustrated the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beginning
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buns
in the mid months it fluctuated.

Afterwards,
in comparison
, there are sensible differences between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buns
.
However
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of year Both of them provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the same statistics which were about 35000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pies
increased during the year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buns
increased to 70000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the August
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it
sharply
dropped between month
especially
August and December.

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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