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The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

The charts give information regarding the average monthly temperatures and the annual hours of sunlight for London, New York, and Sydney in a year. Regarding the average hours of sunshine, we can see that the sun light on New York and Sydney are generally 2, 535 and 2, 473 hours respectively. However, London is below both cities with 1, 180 hours. There is a similar pattern in the average number of temperatures, which fluctuates in London and New York before tailing off. The temperature in both cities are generally getting warmer from January July before falling consistently in the end of the year. Although New York has similar trends with London, London are colder than New York as in line with the average hours of sunshine in London. Sydney, however, has the opposite pattern by starting the year warmly with 25 degree and decline steadily to 16 degree in July before subsequent rise to 25 degree in December. Overall, the sunshine’s annual hours are linked to the warmth temperature of the cities though it may differs the pattern.
The charts give information regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
monthly
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temperatures
and the annual
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hours
of sunlight for London,
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New
York, and Sydney in a year.

Regarding the
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average
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hours
of sunshine, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
This word is usually spelt together: “sunlight”.
sun light
on
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New
York and Sydney are
generally
2, 535 and 2, 473
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hours
respectively
.
However
, London is below both cities with 1, 180 hours.

There is a similar pattern in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperatures
, which fluctuates in London and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
tailing off. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in both cities are
generally
getting warmer from January July
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
consistently
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York has similar trends with London, London are colder than
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New
York as in line with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of sunshine in London.

Sydney,
however
, has the opposite pattern by starting the year
warmly
with 25 degree and decline
steadily
to 16 degree in July
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
subsequent rise to 25 degree in December.

Overall
, the sunshine’s annual
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hours
are linked
to the warmth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of the cities though it may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
differs
the pattern.
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IELTS academic The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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