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The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Worldwide Mobile phone Sales in 2005 & 2006 (% share of market) Company 2005 % Market share 2006 % Market share Nokia 32.5 35 Motorola 17.7 21.1 Samsung 12.7 11.8 Sony Ericsson 6.3 7.4 L.G 6.7 6.3 BenQ Mobile 4.9 2.4 Others 19.2 16.2 TOTAL 100.0 100.0

The diagram illustrates the worldwide market share of mobile phone manufacturers for two consecutive years. Overall it can be seen that Nokia company has the highest market share for both 200 and 2006. In 2005 and 2006, Nokia company predominated the market share of mobile phone manufacturers by having the most numbered of stocks. Mainly in 2005, Nokia has a total stock of 32. 5 percent. In addition, in the following year, it was increased to 35 percent leaving behind its competitors. On the other hand, Motorola ranked second having 17. 7 percent in the worldwide mobile phone sales in 2005. Moreover in 2006, its sales rose to 21. 1 percent. Whereas, Samsung company stood at 12. 7 percent in 2005 but declines slightly to 11. 8 percent in subsequent year. While, Sony Ericsson, shares grows from 6. 3 to 7. 4 percent. LG decreased minimally from 6. 7 to 6. 3. BenQ mobile has a significant drop in shares of more than halved from 2005 to 2006, from 4. 9 to 2. 9 percent.
The diagram illustrates the worldwide market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of mobile phone manufacturers for two consecutive years.
Overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Nokia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has the highest market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
for both 200 and 2006.

In 2005 and 2006, Nokia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
predominated the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of mobile phone manufacturers by having the most numbered of stocks.
Mainly
in 2005, Nokia has a total stock of 32. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
In addition
, in the following year, it
was increased
to 35
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percent
leaving behind its competitors.
On the other hand
, Motorola ranked second having 17. 7
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percent
in the worldwide mobile phone sales in 2005.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in 2006, its sales rose to 21. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, Samsung
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
stood at 12. 7
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percent
in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
declines
slightly
to 11. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in subsequent year. While, Sony Ericsson,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shares
grows from 6. 3 to 7. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. LG decreased
minimally
from 6. 7 to 6. 3.
Possible spelling mistake found.
BenQ
mobile has a significant drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shares
of more than halved from 2005 to 2006, from 4. 9 to 2. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Worldwide Mobile phone Sales in 2005 & 2006 (% share of market) Company 2005 % Market share 2006 % Market share Nokia 32.5 35 Motorola 17.7 21.1 Samsung 12.7 11.8 Sony Ericsson 6.3 7.4 L.G 6.7 6.3 BenQ Mobile 4.9 2.4 Others 19.2 16.2 TOTAL 100.0 100.0