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Describe the figures of different types of people living in poverty in Australia.

The given information illustrates the segment of various categories of families living in poverty in Australia. As is seen from the table, the amount of all households living in poverty is at the apex. Whereas, the percentage of aged couples is at nadir. In addition, a high percentage of sole parents are also living in poverty in Australia. As delineated from the above data, 48, 000 aged couples from each household are living in poverty with the lowest percentage of 4%. Furthermore, the percentage of couples with no children amounts to an enormous 211, 000 despite a mere 7%. Likewise, the figures of couples with children sums upto a gigantic 933, 000 with a trifling 12%. However, with only 11% of all households in poverty, their massive strength is 1, 837, 000. Despite having 21%, which certainly is at the vertex of the list of percentages, sole parents only account for a considerable 232, 000 people living in poverty. In conclusion, the provided percentages of the family types living in the poor background in Australia have high figures irrespective of the given percentages.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information illustrates the segment of various categories of families
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living
in
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poverty
in Australia.

As is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table, the amount of all households
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living
in
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poverty
is at the apex.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the
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percentage
of aged
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couples
is at nadir.
In addition
, a high
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percentage
of sole parents are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in Australia.

As delineated from the above data, 48, 000 aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
from each household are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
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poverty
with the lowest
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percentage
of 4%.
Furthermore
, the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
with no children amounts to an enormous 211, 000 despite a mere 7%.
Likewise
, the figures of
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couples
with children sums
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
a gigantic 933, 000 with a trifling 12%.
However
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11% of all households in
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poverty
, their massive strength is 1, 837, 000. Despite having 21%, which
certainly
is at the vertex of the list of
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percentages
, sole parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
account for a considerable 232, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in poverty.

In conclusion
, the provided
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percentages
of the family types
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living
in the poor background in Australia have high figures irrespective of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
.
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IELTS academic Describe the figures of different types of people living in poverty in Australia.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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