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The bar chart underneath illusturate the worth of one country's exports in different categories between the years 2015 and 2016.

The bar chart underneath illusturate the worth of one country's exports in different categories between the years 2015 and 2016. The table give us information about the interest turning-point in each category of exports in 2016 contrasted with 2015. Overview, as we can see, all products except agricultural products have grown, albeit in small quantities. especially manufactured goods and textiles have went up significantly. Exports from petroleum products rose 3 percent from about $ 61 billion in 2015 to $ 63 billion in 2016. Revenue from engineering products has reached a similar level. The country’s export revenue from these goods grew by 8. 5 percent to about $ 62 billion in 2016. From 2015 to 2016, export earnings from textiles increased by 15. 24%, while revenues increased from about $ 25 billion to $ 30 billion. In contrast, there was almost no change in the amount of money that was just over $ 30 billion from agricultural products. Finally, the only decline in revenue fell on the group of precious stones and jewelry, where export earnings fell by about 5 percent in 2016 to about $ 40 billion.
The bar chart underneath
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illusturate
the worth of one country's
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exports
in
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different
categories between the years 2015 and 2016. The table give us information about the interest turning-point in each category of
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exports
in 2016 contrasted with 2015.

Overview, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, all
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products
except agricultural
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products
have grown, albeit in
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small
quantities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
especially
manufactured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and textiles have
Use past participle here: “gone”.
went
up
significantly
.

Exports from petroleum
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products
rose 3 percent from about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$61”.
$ 61
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billion
in 2015 to
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$63”.
$ 63
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billion
in 2016.
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Revenue
from engineering
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products
has reached a similar level. The country’s
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export
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revenue
from these
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goods
grew by 8. 5 percent to about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$62”.
$ 62
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billion
in 2016.

From 2015 to 2016,
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export
earnings from textiles increased by 15. 24%, while
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revenues
increased from about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$25”.
$ 25
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billion
to
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$30”.
$ 30
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billion
.
In contrast
, there was almost no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the amount of money that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$30”.
$ 30
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billion
from agricultural
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products
.
Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decline in
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revenue
fell on the group of precious stones and jewelry, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
earnings fell by about 5 percent in 2016 to about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: “$40”.
$ 40
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billion
.

IELTS academic The bar chart underneath illusturate the worth of one country's exports in different categories between the years 2015 and 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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