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The global water use and the water expenditure in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo

The global water use and the water expenditure in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo Ky5kM
The charts below illustrate the amount of the global water use and the water expenditure in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo. Overall, from 1900 to 2000, it is easy to see that the global water needs rose significantly, especially in agriculture which had the highest number in the amount of water use. We can also see that the proportion of water expenditure is dramatically higher in Brazil than in Congo. In the first chart, the agriculture had a significant increase in water use from 500km3 to 1000km3 between 1900 and 1950, and then it continued its upward trend to reach a peak at 3000 inn 2000. While from 1900 to 1950, the industrial use and domestic use had a mild fluctuation in water needs, just nearly 1 km3, however, between 1950 and 2000, it increase swiftly to 1000km in industrial and under 500km3 in domestic. In the second chart, in 2000, the population of Brazil was 176 million and the population of Congo was 5. 2 million. Brazil's water consumption, at 359km3, was much higher than Congo, at 8km3, it can be explained by the fact that irrigated land in brazil was 256 times higher than in Congo.
The charts below illustrate the amount of the global
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and the
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water
expenditure in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo.

Overall
, from 1900 to 2000, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
needs rose
significantly
,
especially
in agriculture which had the highest number in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. We can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
expenditure is
dramatically
higher in Brazil than in Congo.

In the
first
chart, the agriculture had a significant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
from 500km3 to 1000km3 between 1900 and 1950, and then it continued its upward trend to reach a peak at 3000 inn 2000. While from 1900 to 1950, the industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
had a mild fluctuation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
1 km3,
however
, between 1950 and 2000, it
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
swiftly
to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "1000 km"
1000km
in industrial and under 500km3 in domestic.

In the second chart, in 2000, the population of Brazil was 176 million and the population of Congo was 5. 2 million. Brazil's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption, at 359km3, was much higher than Congo, at 8km3, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that irrigated land in
Possible spelling mistake found.
brazil
was 256 times higher than in Congo.
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IELTS academic The global water use and the water expenditure in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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